If I told you that one trip changed my outlook on life, would you believe it? 

If I were you, I’d probably be skeptical. I’m acutely aware of how dramatic it sounds. Especially when “life-changing” is thrown around so thoughtlessly these days (I should know, since I recently described a bottle of red wine as such). But the kind of life-changing I’m talking about is more akin to a shift in perspective, the clarity of the path ahead, the knowledge of inner acceptance – rather than that of some stimulated taste buds (although let’s not discount the importance of that either). 

It all began when I typed “women’s travel groups” into Google search and stumbled across Travel Her Way.

I booked their Machu Picchu Inca Jungle Trek at a time in my life when I still felt a little lost and unsettled. I decided to go, as I have done with most things in my life, pretty spontaneously. I was drawn to it for the adventure it seemed to offer, and I think deep down I was hoping for some kind of wakeup call. 

To provide you with some background, I was diagnosed with anxiety years ago. There were a couple years of my life when I was terrified to do anything – one time, I even had an anxiety attack when I was the passenger in a car. Flying on a plane was an even bigger obstacle. I still flew, but it was a struggle that would leave my palms sweaty and heart racing. Once I finally arrived at a breaking point, I decided to start taking medication – and I began to feel balanced, instead of living in a constant worst-case-scenario state of mind.  

Fast forward to the summer of 2019 – my anxiety, for the most part, was under control, but the weight and sadness on my heart was undeniable.

When I booked the trip to Peru, I was still getting over a 7-year relationship that had left me emotionally exhausted, in addition to learning to cope with some past trauma. As I boarded the plane, I was desperate to feel alive and in control of my life. I didn’t realize that I would have to let go of everything I thought I knew in order to accomplish that.

While I consider myself pretty well traveled, I had never embarked on a trip quite like this one. I was going to be completely out of my element, with three total strangers – and not to mention, the least seasoned hiker of the group. The itinerary listed out excursions that I nervously looked forward to – mountain biking, river rafting and lots of trekking. I was going to be immersed in nature more than I had ever been before. 

Thankfully, I immediately connected with the other women in my group, especially my roommate who was a radiant ball of sunshine. As we embarked on our trek toward Machu Picchu, each of the women opened up about their lives and struggles, and I was so fascinated by nature’s ability to provide them with such a sense of calm, even after everything they had been through. For them, hiking had become an outlet. Isn’t it interesting that among the towering trees and mammoth mountains, in an environment that we have so little control over, a sense of calm and peacefulness can be found? 

During one of our longer days of hiking, we stopped to visit a family high up in the mountains. While guinea pig was prepared in their tiny kitchen, we learned how to roast coffee beans and ate delicious jungle potatoes. I had no idea that very soon after, I would be hiking up the narrowest trail, at the highest point I’d ever been. Still full from all the food and wonderful hospitality, we said our goodbyes to the kind family, and I carefully put one foot in front of the other as we trekked on. As I glanced over the edge of the cliff, I was terrified that one wrong move would send me barreling down thousands of feet into the flowing river below. Sensing how scared I was, the other women rooted me on and encouraged me the entire way.

Once I finally rounded a corner that opened into a wider trail, I collapsed and completely broke down. Some of the tears were from fear – but mostly, I was proud of myself and completely taken by the beauty surrounding me. With the mountains towering over me, the Amazon river flowing beneath me and three other women who understood exactly what I was feeling, it was a moment of empowerment I’ll never forget. 

After I calmed down and we took a few photos, our guide sat us down and told us a family story that moved us to tears. At the end of his story, he said that his grandfather used to tell him that as long as they found themselves by the mountains, everything would be OK. And in that moment, I realized that I wasn’t scared of the mountains anymore, but instead felt protected. They were a representation of the all the peaks in life that I had climbed, all the challenges that had felt insurmountable – but at the end of the day, I did it. I climbed the mountain and prevailed. 

That day, something shifted inside of me. I opened up to the women, who days ago were complete strangers, about my anxiety and past trauma. Suddenly, a bravery existed inside of me that had been quiet for far too long. I started to see vulnerability as a strength instead of as something that could be my downfall. I felt like whether there was a mountain to climb or internal walls to knock down, I was prepared to take on the challenge.  

When I returned to the U.S., that bravery stuck with me and I was empowered in a new way. I trusted myself more than ever, to have the courage to walk the path that was right for me. Even if it is the path less traveled.