Travel has shaped my life for as long as I remember.

It’s a thread woven through some of my highest highs, and lowest lows. It expanded my world view, introduced me to my husband, and fulfilled childhood dreams. Yet, there was a time, when I lost focus and travel was absent from my routine. Now, as I enter my 50’s, I see clearly both its influence in my past and impact on my future.  

HOW IT STARTED

I’m a child of the 1970s. Before Discovery Channel and Shark Week, there was Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. At an early age I declared to my family “I am going to live on a boat and study sharks”. 

Despite these bold aspirations, I was shy and had performance anxiety. 

With no oceans nearby, my parents suggested I look for a different career. I took SCUBA lessons in college and, listening to my parents, set my sights on a profession that paid well and would support my travel habit.

I MADE A MISTAKE.

Not long after graduation, I realized my mistake. I hated my job. I felt trapped. My parents had paid for school, so I put my head down and gutted it out. I worked…a lot. I was FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) before it was a thing. 

MY FIRST WAKEUP CALL

My plans were upended when my mother said one afternoon…” I have cancer”. 

We had our differences. She lived in color. I lived in “camouflage”. Her default was “yes” while I was more contemplative. She saw adventure and I saw risk. 

She was 58 when she was told she had six weeks to live. Outwardly, she was the picture of health but the damage was done. She was never the same. 

Thankfully, we had more time than anticipated. One week after her final round of chemotherapy, she was at Disney World with her new grandson. The trip was difficult. My sister and I were wrecks. We planned carefully and adapted. 

In her last four years she visited six countries. We strolled the Champs Elysees, antique shopped in Belgium, and visited the “homeland” (i.e. Poland). I served as her “chief travel-health officer”, chauffer, and companion abroad. My sister shouldered the heaviest burden of her day to day life at home. 

We explored, laughed, and ate a lot of gelato. Her strength and determination were inspirational and unknowingly, it caused a shift in my perspective. I was too close to the trauma to understand it, but it was a catalyst for something larger 20 years in the making.  

THE SHIFT

I woke up fast and no longer stomached the grind of an unfulfilled career. I was frantic to make up lost time. I worked part-time at a dive shop, got married, and moved to Germany. Later, back stateside, I learned to sail. 

Yet, habits returned and lasting change was difficult. 

Too soon I was consumed by work and the pressure for success. I was more dissatisfied than before. I knew the soul-sucking feeling of being misaligned and yet I repeated the same mistakes. I felt like I had failed my mother and squandered her lessons. 

I was miserable. 

THE SECOND WAKEUP CALL

In 2018, we moved “south”. 

Three days after I resigned, while sitting on the beach with my sister, we received a call. My father was in the emergency department. He would never return to his home or lead an independent life again.

My sister looked at me and said “I can’t do this again. I need your help”. 

My husband and I decided I should take a year off work. I had two goals: spend time with my father and find a new career. A traditional pharmacist “job” wasn’t possible. I needed flexibility. Selfishly, I wanted to create something that interested me and honored my ambition.

I wanted a unicorn. 

IF YOU CAN’T FIND IT…BUILD IT

I made list after list. I attended entrepreneurial conferences. I ripped up pages of ideas. Nothing stuck. None felt authentic to who I wanted to be. 

To celebrate my 50th birthday, my husband surprised me with a dive trip to the Galapagos. The challenging conditions highlighted I was no longer a 30-something. Though healthy and fit, my tank felt heavy and the rough seas proved bothersome. 

The currents were ripping. During one aggressive dive, a fleeting thought underwater resulted in me calling the dive early. On the surface I listened to fellow divers share similar thoughts…how they believed this experience had “gone wrong”.  

Over the next month, an idea formed. 

I wanted to create a company that supported people like me. People with aging parents or folks living with medical conditions that wanted to travel. A merger of the lessons learned from my parents and my clinical background, with the end goal of creating life-affirming opportunities. 

Seven months later, I launched Wayfinder Advantage. My mission is to empower fellow travelers, especially those living with illness (and their family members), to evaluate their travel ambitions, find their best “fit”, and manage risks so they can fully embrace travel opportunities safely. 

A NEW FUTURE

A few weeks ago, I went white-water rafting with my family. While I’ve rafted this river many times before, it seemed different, more alive, more beautiful. I felt present in a way that was new.

It was then that I realized that it wasn’t the river that was different. 

I was different. The lens I viewed the river through was different. 

I was more alive. I was in the moment instead of buried in worry or my “to do” list. 

I felt connected with all I had learned and experienced. I was living in color, out loud, without fear, like my parents had always wanted. It was life affirming and a powerful reminder of the distance I’ve traveled and the adventures yet to come.